Let’s take stroll back to Vacation Bible School many years ago. One of the songs we learned at the McLouth nondenominational event was about a wee little man named Zacchaeus who climbed up in a sycamore tree. Centuries later, I have an issue with that particular species of tree.

What a hot summer we’ve had thus far! My wife and I are fortunate to have a plethora of mature trees to provide nearly all-day shade for most of the house as well as much of the backyard. Red oaks, white oaks, maples, elms, walnuts, pecans, sweet gums and a row of green ash to provide some relief, as well as habitat for numerous bird species and at least 17 squirrels. But there is one tree in particular I want to discuss at length: the American Sycamore.

We only have one of these nearby. It stands proudly 5.5 feet from the west side of the house, and overhangs three-fourths of the garage and half of the house. At four feet above ground level, it is 3 feet in diameter. It is approximately very tall. Among its many benefits are shade, and, well, that’s it. Shade.

This tree is a year-round menace. While its 4- to 8-inch leaves help to provide a wonderful protective canopy, when they begin to drop, holy cow what a mess! During hot dry summers, it will start selectively dispersing leaves to help maintain its reserves. And so, these nearly plate-sized vegetative nuisances create premature thatch. I usually just reduce their unwanted mass with the lawnmower. Aphids also frequently feed on the leaves, excreting a sticky, sugary liquid that coats cars and outdoor furniture underneath.

As the tree grows, it shed its bark: white, greenish and reddish-brown mottled rind that sheds in thin plates, creating a camouflage appearance on the tree. But on the ground, holy cow what a mess! Not just little chunks, but long strips that gently float to indiscriminate landing spots; windshields, planting beds, walkways, clean gravel driveways or wherever the breeze of the day dictates.

Have I mentioned it also bears fruit? Well, not in the sense of anything edible or remotely useful. It bears thousands of distinctive spherical fruit balls, an inch or so wide, hanging on 3- to 6-inch stalks. They will also be expelled during dry times, but typically will turn brown, persist through winter, and eventually break apart into tiny, hairy seeds. If you’re lucky, your cat will carry one into the garage and play with it long enough on the rug in front of your house entry door and scatter the fine fluff to the point a leaf blower is even useless.

Yes, as a woodworker I’ve used sycamore in various projects. Quarter-sawn sycamore is valued for its distinctive flake or ray fleck patterns, which are more pronounced than in plain-sawn cuts. The quality and consistency of these patterns can greatly influence the visual appeal of the finished piece. Sycamore as firewood rates somewhere between green ash and silver maple, but it needs to be seasoned as the wood actually holds a lot of water.

I’m sure ol‘ Zacchaeus wasn’t too particular about which tree he climbed, he just wanted a better view. But from my point of view, I wish he’d chosen a more landscape friendly one.